Responses & Reactions

When you decide to make a big life change, such as moving to an entirely different part of the country, it's interesting how you handle telling people. A friend of mine, my heterosexual soulmate, just recently moved to Chicago. We found out on the same day our moves were going to work out, and celebrated with lots of beer. That night, we freely told all of our new bar friends of our plans. But sober, it's not as easy.

For example, with my parents, I slowly laid the groundwork. "Portland's really cool" and "I really like Portland" became common statements in conversations with them. I finally decided to just come out with it. It was a Thursday night. The conversation went something like this:

Diane: "Mom, I'm actually going to move to Portland."
Mom: "Yeah?"
Diane: "Yeah, aren't you excited for me?"
Mom: "Yeah, but I'm watching Grey's Anatomy right now."

I don't know why I was so worried about telling them. My parents obviously roll with the punches much better than I do.

I just came out with the news with most of my friends - and most have responded quite positively. In fact, more than one person has told me that they think this is the smartest decision I have ever made.

But there are some friends I still haven't told. I'm not trying to hide it, I'm just a little nervous for their reactions. The reaction is critical. It's a big decision, and you're never 100 percent sure of it, so the worst would be to have someone be completely unsupportive and make you question it. Or make you feel guilty for leaving.

And then there are the neutral reactions. For example, my favorite, which has happened on more than one occasion:

Diane: "I'm moving to Portland."
Friend: "Why?"

What do you mean "Why?"

There have been other times in my life where this has been asked about decisions I've made. The perfect response is to put it back in their court and ask them "Why not?" When you flip the question back, there really is no good answer, and especially in this Portland scenario. When I say, "Why not," they can't answer. Because there really isn't a good reason NOT to move to Portland.

But the classic, most memorable response I've gotten to the Portland move was this:

Grandma: "So, your dad tells me you're moving to Portland?"
Diane: "Yeah, I am, at the end of August."
Grandma: "Why don't you move to L.A.?

Huh?